okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
bring money and cleavage
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
