I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
