Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
