Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
