What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
