Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
