Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
