I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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