Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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