So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
