can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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