She's JV to your varsity
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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