It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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