what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
