I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
