Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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