I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
