Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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