I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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