ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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