Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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