i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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