so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize