He asked to "fluff my boner.."
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need to calm my uterus...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
