new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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