I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
