my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
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