I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
