I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
