I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
