is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
