Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
