I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
