i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
