His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Pooping to opera.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
