Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
