my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
