I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
