I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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