I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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