i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He better not be in your backpack
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
