People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
