It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
