It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
