i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
