Cold hands, warm shart.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
