Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
