I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
