It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize