two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
vagina is talking i cant
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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