Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
