id be glad to
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
