my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
