you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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