my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you never un-have a 4some
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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