I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
