Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
