Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
