I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
