I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
