Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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